Personality

What a personality I have? I give a deep thinking most of the time. I am still perplexed as I used to be in the past. I am still unknown of the self. I guess I am not only guy with this idiosyncratic emotions and guilt.

I have rapidly changing mood in the day time. Well, I sleep in the night so it’s difficult to analyse the mood at that time but I am sure the night is not different than day time for my mood to swing. It is bound to swing. So do my behaviours and acuity.

I like Children and old and frail people. I want to help them, show them my love and care. I want to talk with them as much as I can. It applies to the younger generation people as well.

I like making new friends but want them to limit in the distances. The nearer they want to come, the more the resistance develops intrinsically. I can’t help but break the relation smoothly and abruptly. This abrupt disruption of the relations causes significant turmoil in my daily life. It hampers the normal thinking. It prevents me from normal dealing with people. It is because I always have after-effect of the relationship.

I don’t think much but sometimes I am forced to.
I like the state of mindlessness and thoughtlessness. But, paradoxically I have deep thoughts whenever I talk with other people and write something on behalf of myself. I find this kind of ventilation very fruitful and supportive for my catharsis. If I don’t get the ventilation, I over think the situation and the person, the motives behind any trivial speech which I happened to hear and I really get pissed off with that.

 I am very sensitive and that I know from the very beginning of my life since I know that I exist. I overanalyse the situation and analyse them against myself. I am the man of negativism. I interpret the motives negatively first hand then let them drive down deep to the subconciousness and then forget them.

I like to be the focus of attention. I want to hear the good things about me all the time. I want to hear the criticism but of the things which I don’t know, not of the negative sides which I already know.

As other have noticed, Ladies my favourite subject of interest, of all the time. I like their presence. I find myself a very innovative and interesting and exciting and romantic and helpful person. I have constant mood of romantic guy all the time provided the girl is sitting next to me. I can’t help it.

I have good relationship with few chosen ones like Naba Raj, Shashi, Madan, Satish, Anand, Akash, Prakash, Roshan, Ashok, Ashik, Muna, Dilli and Bharat. I have my confidence on them that they will carry any pain for me. Our relation is not like business transaction. We have pure relation. I doubt for few of them.

I am unstable man. This is the single word which defines me appropriately and as a whole. I don’t know how to gain the stability either. I am like this for years. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know where I am heading to but still striving to know myself.